Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
