I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize