I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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