True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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