It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize