wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Randomize
