The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
