Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Two words: blizzard sex
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
