Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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