When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
