Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I don't deserve a penis
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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