I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
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