i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
false alarm. still invincible.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
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