I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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