i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
organizing the empties. That sober.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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