how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
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