There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
