Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
