i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
