dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
