i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
