If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
