My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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