Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
