Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
