Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
