That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
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I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
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They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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