I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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