I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
he fucked my hip out of place.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
