i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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