I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I need a burrito and a hug.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
