Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
