Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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