I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
