Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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