try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
