Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
barbara walters just said penis...
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
