You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I'm always down for nudity.
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