You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
