I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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