How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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