I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
