so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
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This tent reeks of fear and sangria
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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