it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
