At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
