We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
