But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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