Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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