I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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