It's Friday. Sex?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
