Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
you made out with another girl for some wings