You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.