My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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