when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize