oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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