i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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