Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize