nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
