I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Send help, water and tortillas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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