i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
