I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
