suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize