I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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