it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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