awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
