Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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