Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
