Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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