I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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