is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
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