oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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