he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
