so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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