My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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