Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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